Things I Learned From SkyMall

I don’t travel as much as I used to, so maybe my allergy to bad marketing wasn’t as attuned. It started on the way down to the plane:
20130417-000048.jpg
Really? Even with her legs crossed, she had seven inches of space. Why did she pay extra for the other four?

Maybe that was the appetizer that got me excited about making a meal of SkyMall. I turned to a random page, and the thoughts just came at me…
20130417-000058.jpg

20130417-000110.jpg
Yes, the dog now has a yard of his own! But there is so much more:

20130417-000128.jpg

20130417-000122.jpg
Okay, scented to attract your dog. Do you know why dogs are attracted to hydrants? Because other dogs have peed on them. This company is selling you a plastic hydrant that is permanently infused with the essence of dog urine. (Probably fed those puppies asparagus, too.)

20130417-000135.jpg
oh, that’s not all!

20130417-000144.jpg
A sprinkler to clean the grass! (Although, if we wanted to keep the dog interested in peeing on the artificial turf, maybe the sprinkler ought to be spraying more urine.)

20130417-000151.jpg

Something tells me “optional” is not often left unpurchased.

But it wasn’t all about the dog tray. There were other ads that tweaked my ire. Where they don’t speak for themselves, I intervene.

20130417-000202.jpg

20130417-000210.jpg

20130417-000218.jpg

20130417-000224.jpg

20130417-000230.jpg

20130417-000235.jpg

From Head to Toe:

20130417-000240.jpg
…and finally:

20130417-002535.jpg
The results should scare anyone?

20130417-000246.jpg

Share Button