When Your Friend Gets Hacked

Note: if someone sent you this link, and you want to just skip to the fun part of the post, click here. But please come back for the meat…

“Help, I’ve been mugged in the United Kingdom!”

If you do see this pop up in a Facebook chat, don’t freak out.

It means your friend has been hacked. It usually starts with their email address being compromised, and the identity thief uses that to take over other online accounts.

Here’s what you need to know to help your friend (and here’s why you don’t want to try to hack my friends.)

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Spotting the Fakes

The first time I dealt with this, I got a message from a man I used to go to church with. It’s not out of his character to be in Europe, but knowing he teaches school, it was the wrong time of year.

I managed to get screen captures of the entire exchange, and was logging them while on the phone with my friend and his wife, at their school in Alabama. Bottom line, your Spidey Sense ought to start tingling when the request for money comes in.

Don’t bother saving the screen captures, because the police can’t do anything with them anyway. Instead, you can do the most help by doing the following.

1) Go to their Friends tab, and just do a simple cut-and-paste of the names of all their friends. That way, if they have to reconstruct their account from scratch, you’re covering their butt that they don’t inadvertently leave anyone out. The link is usually in the form of http://www.facebook.com/friends/?id=###########

2) Alert Facebook. Go to the Facebook Help page for when your friend gets hacked, and follow the instructions. If it’s the one where they are asking you to wire them money, then you can go straight to that link.

  1. Report your friend’s account here.
  2. Contact the money transfer service immediately if you or a friend have sent money to the impersonator; scammers often use Western Union.
  3. If you would like more information, the FTC has created an alert, titled Money Transfers Can Be Risky Business , that explains money transfer scams and other actions one can take.

There’s also information for you if it’s your account that’s been compromised.

Having Fun

This morning, my friend Danielle was hacked. She’s a former co-worker of mine who now lives in another city.

(I’ve included her current profile picture, which really doesn’t tell you anything other than she’s a Dallas Cowboys’ fan.)

I hadn’t heard from her in a few months, but the last time she reached out to me was through chat. It wasn’t out of character for her to do so.

I went ahead and grabbed the log of our conversation. Well, it’s not really Danielle, but I am certain the real Danielle will find this a lot funnier than the fake Danielle did.

Bottom line: Don’t mess with my friends.

Now, please go back for the meat.

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Comments

  1. Dude, I hate you just a little bit right now.

    First, for thinking of writing this post in the first place, and second, for coming up with a line as genius as “I guess this means you’re not bringing me any souvenirs?”

    Also, I’m pretty sure the writers of Chuck are transcribing that chat exchange, even as we speak.

  2. Holy crap. I’m pretty sure I peed my pants while reading this, due to excessive laughter. And, of course, bearing 4 children. .

    “Two hours? I guess that means turning tricks is out of the question?”

    Effing brilliant, Pigott. BRILL*IANT.

    Shelly
    @shellykramer

  3. That is the funniest thing I have read all day. Pure brilliance! Thanks for the laugh! :)

    • Thank you, Jennifer. Please come back someday when I have something important.

      I am quoting Immanuel Kant next week. (I promise!)

  4. Ike, if there is a better read on the internet today… there isn’t. That was awesome! I had an aunt get her email hacked with a similar story. Why don’t they change their stories up?

    Great read Ike. And well played.

    • Thanks Michael!

      I knew something was up early on, because the real Danielle knows me as “Ike.”

      As soon as I saw the “London mugging” script starting to unfold, I knew exactly what I was going to do.

      Appreciate it! Share the link!

  5. This is hilarious…I can only hope that I get an opportunity like this one day:)

    • Appreciate it, Eric!

      It makes me wonder, though, if there isn’t a “farm” of people typing in these responses. They are so robotic at times, but it’s almost as though a different person (a “manager” maybe?) jumped in and dropped the f-bomb on me.

      I’d be happy for you to get the chance to do the same, and we can start compiling enough research to get a grant!

  6. Firstly- I’m glad that FB is finally allowing friends to report that someone’s account has been hacked. That happened to a friend of mine awhile ago and FB didn’t do crap about it.
    second- thanks for the great laugh! I can see you doing something like that!

  7. Thanks for making me laugh! It is true: Never Trust A Cowboys Fan!

    • I really do hate the Cowboys, but not enough to “un-trust” them implicitly.

      If her icon would have been the Yankees, Red Sox, or Lady Gaga, I would have used what was there.

      “Never trust a Lady Gaga or Cowboys fan,” I would have said.

  8. Nice. That guy (I say “guy” because I real women would have dropped “fuck you” at the “turning tricks” line) is really, really persistent…and completely clueless about when you should abandon a scam. He was caught almost immediately.

    Thanks for the laughs, Ike. I needed. :D

  9. Ike, my account is compromised right now as well. Please keep a close eye. I have not gotten any response from Facebook about this since Tuesday. I called their office, no response. Help?

    • Use the link in my piece. And send me an email telling me exactly which account is screwy. I’ll flag it from my end, too.

  10. This is TOO much and totally, well, totally YOU. I have to compose myself before my conference call in 10 minutes. Fun-ny.

  11. Not sure why “Danielle” was so upset. I thought your suggestions were very helpful :)

  12. Too funny, I got one of those from a “friend”, who was an Israeli commando and probably be the last person anyone would try to rob, but if he was mugged he most definitely never cry!

    The best part about it, I told whoever I was talking to that my Belorussian uncle Boris The Blade is coming to get him since he happens to live in London these days!

    • What is it about “Belarus” that makes it such great fodder for punchlines?

      Is it that it’s so exotic-sounding, that no one could accuse you of making it up?

      Thanks for coming by, Sergey!

  13. Thanks for sharing this informative, and hilarious, post.

    My name is also Danielle, so the chat transcript probably got me laughing a little harder than others.

    I tweeted a link to this post and added it to my Facebook profile.

    I’m usually the friend that others ask for help when “crazy” things like hacking happen to their Facebook accounts.

    • Danielle, you don’t have to hide anymore.

      How is little Isaac, Jr.?

      Have they taught him English at the American school?

  14. LOL.

    Good thing my husband doesn’t read what I’m up to on the social web. :-)

  15. This is the most brilliant thing I have read in months. Will you answer the house phone here for my future political, marketing and donation calls?

  16. The only way that could have been better is if you had put on your robe and wizard hat…

  17. Somebody tried to scam me this way about a year ago… it almost feels nostalgic.

  18. Found this via twitter. That was epic.

  19. Son of a monkey. Snot came out of my nose laughing at this. Thank-you for sharing this with the Interwebs. Amazing

  20. Genius. You are just twisted enough to be a relative.

Trackbacks

  1. motownmutt says:

    probably funniest thing I read today: http://me.lt/1M8kZ via @ikepigott

  2. james vivio says:

    RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  3. james vivio says:

    RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  4. n2teaching says:

    RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop Excellent tips that you can do to help your friend…check it out.

  5. When Your Friend Gets Hacked | http://bit.ly/gI3zfs | if u read this, you'll be glad you did. Crazy @ikepigott at it again

  6. RT @ShellyKramer When Your Friend Gets Hacked | http://bit.ly/gI3zfs | if u read this, you'll be glad you did. Crazy @ikepigott at it again

  7. Nancy Passow says:

    RT @ShellyKramer: When Your Friend Gets Hacked | http://bit.ly/gI3zfs | if u read this, you'll be glad you did. Crazy @ikepigott at it again

  8. Todd Mintz says:

    When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer #lolololololol

  9. RT @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer #lolololololol

  10. This post had me missing the bad old days of the Cold War: http://bit.ly/h4RYL6 #Hackers beware!

  11. Casey Henry says:

    RT @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer #lolololololol

  12. Alan K'necht says:

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  13. RT @aknecht: RT @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer #lolololololol

  14. RT @aknecht: RT @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer #lolololololol

  15. Kevin Wood says:

    Some funny stuff! RT @aknecht: RT @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer

  16. RT @keewood: Some funny stuff! RT @aknecht: RT @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer

  17. Jennifer Day says:

    RT @michelehinojosa: RT @aknecht: RT @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer #lolololololol

  18. Ike Pigott says:

    @akmcquade – Some think I was channeling an unwritten Alias script here: http://ike4.me/o168

  19. Nicolas Liu says:

    Some funny stuff! RT @aknecht @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer /via @keewood

  20. dancristo says:

    RT @toddmintz: When Your Friend Gets Hacked: http://bit.ly/hKwaer #lolololololol

  21. Totally brilliant: RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  22. RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  23. RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  24. Helpful and then purely awesomesauce funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  25. Helpful and then purely awesomesauce funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  26. most excellent! RT @unmarketing: Helpful & then purely awesomesauce funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  27. most excellent! RT @unmarketing: Helpful & then purely awesomesauce funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  28. RT @unmarketing Helpful and then funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop < top way of dealing with scammers

  29. RT @unmarketing Helpful and then funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop < top way of dealing with scammers

  30. Cassie Viau says:

    RT @unmarketing: Helpful and then purely awesomesauce funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  31. @ikepigott enjoyed your 'When Friends Get Hacked' http://bit.ly/h7lcop from @unmarketing

  32. Lee Mikles says:

    Anyone who has wanted to toy with a spammer should read this! Guy plays with FB hacker(via @unmarketing @ikepigott) http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  33. Just. read. RT @unmarketing: Helpful and then purely awesomesauce funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  34. Cyndi Alton says:

    LMAO! RT @unmarketing: Helpful and then purely awesomesauce funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  35. Kim McWatt says:

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  36. jendoser says:

    RT @unmarketing: Helpful and then purely awesomesauce funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  37. Sweet revenge! A scammer hacked a friend of @ikepiggot and got way more than (s)he bargained for | http://ike4.me/o168

  38. Kyle Kratky says:

    A tasty little morsel right here. What to do when your friend gets hacked. First, be responsible. then: be hilarious. http://bit.ly/gYbKGf

  39. Jay Philips says:

    #FacebookTips: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://wfapm.com/gSo3F5

  40. #FacebookTips: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://wfapm.com/gSo3F5

  41. Funny and helpful RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  42. When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://me.lt/1M8ol via @unmarketing

  43. This made me laugh out loud. RT @lmikles: Guy plays with FB hacker (via @unmarketing @ikepigott) http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  44. [...] When Your Friend Gets Hacked – occamsrazr.com “Help, I’ve been mugged in the United Kingdom!” If you do see this pop up in a Facebook chat, don’t freak out. It means your friend has been hacked. It usually starts with their email address being compromised, and the identity thief uses that to take over other online accounts. Here’s what you need to know to help your friend (and here’s why you don’t want to try to hack my friends.) Listen to 'When Your Friend Gets Hacked' Spotting the Fakes The firs..   show all text [...]

  45. Angelique says:

    I just love jerking spammers around! #Funny RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop

  46. @WadeOnTweets Doesn't this sound familiar? http://bit.ly/gYbKGf (your blog post March 2010…) cc @ikepigott

  47. funniest thing Ive seen in a while. Inspiration for smart a$#es everywhere! RT @ikepigott: When Your Friend Gets Hacked http://bit.ly/h7lcop